Friday, January 23, 2009

Long Time No See

Well, it has been a long time since I have posted.

So much going on!

I went through a very tough time over Christmas vacation. I had terrible pain in my left ankle, knee and hip. I could not walk without a limp, I could not find a comfortable position.

I saw new knee doc. Like him. Got an MRI. Diagnosis was a real bummer. I have moderate to severe arthritis in my left knee, moderate in my right. The medical community says lose weight (I basically felt horrified when I heard that - way to kick me when I'm down!), don't ever climb stairs again, try artificial lubricant shots, consider surgery. I was very sad about it for a day or two. Then I picked myself back up and did some research. I found a book called the Arthritis Cure, it gives a 9 step program to try. I bought vitamins from the author's site, started taking them and started to feel better after about two weeks. I am not in pain all the time any more. Yes, it is true, I still can't easily climb steps - but I am already light years better than I was less than a month ago. And,being the stubborn thing that I am, I fully expect to be vaulting up stairs as much as I like sometime soon.

I also learned that heat works better on my knees than cold. So, if they bother me after dancing, I put a warmie (rice bag that you warm in the microwave - you can get them at Origins) on them and I like that a ton better than ice.

I am going through massive changes. Personally, I feel that going through cancer was more than enough change, but apparently, life is not asking for my opinion on this one. A close friend that I work with is leaving to move out of the country at the end of February. My niece quit her job and decided to move away - and I don't have time to adjust to the shock of it because she is leaving with about a week's notice.

We impulsively decided to have the wood floors redone in our house. They cover close to 50% of the bottom floor. We got an estimate that was so good that we just decided to do it. What we didn't know was what it would be like to live with the house cut in half (they had to do half at a time since all of the doors into the house are on hard wood) you know, little things like finding out that you have to walk out the front door, then all the way around the house in sub zero temperatures since your coat is on the other side of the house. Realizing that the pet fish is stranded on the other side of the house - behind plastic sheeting that I had to tear into to get to him. Finding out just how noisy it is to have someone laying down new floor and sanding the existing. Finding out how incredibly awful polyeurethane smells. We came home every day - sometimes very late, tried to breathe, and if we couldn't - we headed out for a motel. So disruptive! We would flee to the hotel with no luggage, sleep just a few hours, get up at 5, head out into the dark and miserable cold, then come back home to shower and get the kids ready for car pool. I don't know if I can adequately describe how unsettling it is to not know where you are going to sleep every night. To have the kids need to do their homework on the open computers in the motel lobby. To eat out every meal for days because you cannot get into your own fridge and kitchen.

But that is all over now. The floor is in. Looks great. I am sleeping in my own bed and sighing deeply as I stand at my kitchen sink - just because I can.

My elder son is doing well too. He has applied to four colleges now. Two have accepted him so far, we are waiting to hear from the other two. He has filled out scholarship packet after scholarship packet. We are waiting to hear on that too. I have a FAFSA workshop to attend Sunday that is supposed to teach me how to do the whole thing. I will be so relieved when that is done.

Work is off the charts. I am working long, long hours. Working through vacation, working late nights, working on the weekend. I could complain - oh yes, I sure could, but I really see it as the world trying to teach me that I need to take better control over my own schedule and my own priorities, so I am working on it.

So what am I doing for fun? Well, not much actually. I keep missing Pilates classes, Jamz and Contra dances. That makes me very unhappy. I gave my husband a DVD series that we are really enjoying - Reaper. The pilot was directed by Kevin Smith. I didn't watch it when it was on TV, but we became addicted to the DVD's. That was really fun. We would all huddle together every night to snuggle up and watch and episode or two. A nice break.

For Christmas, my husband bought me a ring. I wear it often and the was such an amazing surprise. I also got a ton of new CD's. I have a CD changer in my car, so I got it loaded up with all new music - that's nice for my ridiculous daily commute.

I have not seen my friend who has brain cancer in three weeks. God, that makes me sad. We saw the whole family at Christmas time and spent a great day with them, then I have not taken a second out for them since! That sucks. I'm ashamed. How could I let three weeks slip by like that? I don't care how busy I am - I should make time for them no matter what.

So. Everyone I know says they don't know how I do all the stuff that I do. I agree with them. My project now is to find a way somehow - I don't have any idea how yet - to slow down.Take more time for myself.

Oh yeah, two more fun things. I took the fam to see a dinner theatre production called "Polynesian Fire" - it was great! Just the right mix of hokey and fab at the same time. Girls who look like regular people doing the hula, spinning double ended torches on fire, a buffet that was hilarious because everything had to have a tropical name - Diamondhead Ham, King Kamehameha pork, I'm sorry, but that's funny!! Dragging people from the audience up to the stage and making them dance - we all had a great time. The other fun thing is my DS. I've given up on reading - I just don't have enough time right now, but I can fit in a quick game of Zenses or Meteos.

Uh.

Yeah.

I realize that reading used to be one of the top five things in my life and a great source of pleasure and learning for me. I used to shun TV. I refused to have on in my bedroom for years, and even put ours in a storage locker for a couple of years once. I used to think video games were for kids, or idiots, or maybe for kids that were idiots. Well, I sure have changed my tune, haven't I? I have no idea if that is a good thing or a bad thing, I just know that that's what I'm up to for now.